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Closure
noun
• The act of closing or the state of being closed.
• Something that closes or shuts.
• A bringing to an end; a conclusion.
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In recent conversations as of late, the topic of closure has come to the surface. Usually in the form of a retrospect of life of what was, as compared to what is now. And more specifically about our positions in faith as compared to our loved ones who are lost, our Walking Dead of the spirit as it were.
As I contemplated the common definitions of "closure", though I am focused on the 3rd definition, I was struck by the implications of the 2nd one in relation to prophetic doors being shut. This of course relating to the Laodicean church in (Revelation 3). More on that maybe at another time.
If there is one thing that is true in the life of a Christian, is that when we accept Christ and go all in, it is the cost of doing that in relation to the world and with family and friends, and in some cases even our marriages.
In previous blog entries (see below), I covered some of the different aspects of the divide between believers and nonbelievers. The hardest being, those within a family or a relationship. Now I am going to talk about "Closure".
We can expect those still of the world to act like those of the world, and we can not judge them when they do not yet know God (1 Corinthians 5:9-13). They will be judged by God alone.
Here is a problem for many of us to learn in life, the error of assumption that everyone is a brother or sister. No, they are lost and children of Darkness, until they are saved and become children of the Light. Then they are your brother or sister in Christ, and are subject to judgment of their actions (but never their salvation) by fellow members of this new family.
As I stated before
The unfortunate reality is that the choice for each and every person, is solely theirs to make, and the consequences are theirs also, good or bad. We must account for ourselves, and ourselves alone.
We must let them go.
I have learned this lesson as much as anyone. At first it feels strange to say and do this, as if there is some kind of guilt I am due. It sounds harsh and insensitive. But, it is what you must come to at some point, the realization, that not everyone is going to make it, and the tragedy is that it will be their choice that brought them to ruin.
Not everyone who started out with you, will finish with you.
This is the "closure" you must reach in some way at some point, or you stagnate in your worry and sorrow over things out of your control and that you are not authorized to judge. You place your will in front of that of Christ's, effectively placing yourself above Christ in the issue.
Our command is to Preach the Gospel to the whole world. His Gospel, not our own. We are nothing without Him, and it is only His name that saves. As Paul would say in (1 Corinthians 1:13). Was Paul crucified for you?
So... We must learn to give the message, and more importantly let them make their decision on it, and also finally, to accept that they have made their own choice, and that we must move on to those who have yet to hear the message.
We are to have no fellowship with them (Ephesians 5:11 / 2 Corinthians 6:14 / 1 Corinthians 5:13 / Titus 3:9-11), unless they actually become members of the Christ family. We do not ignore or avoid them though either (Colossians 4:5-6).
Everyone should know the common sense difference between evangelism and fellowship. To not be unequally yoked.
Closure though, is a different creature altogether. Closure is right and proper for the mental and spiritual health of a believer. Closure is no yoke at all.
There comes a time in some encounters when one must cut the line, tear up the road, bust down the bridge, nuke it from orbit because it's the only way to be sure... add infinitum...
The cutting off of contact, and of a relationship (necessarily toxic by reason) is a necessity. Too long now Christians have been told or manipulated to believe that they must endure toxic relationships or encounters over and over again, for Christ, in the name of long suffering and patient endurance.
This is a fallacy and it is an insidious one, turning Spirit armored discerning Christians into a powder puff blob of indicisive jello, fearing the possibility of offending over the natural defense of the word and your faith.
Because of this false understanding of "love" equating unconditional tolerance, today's Christian is taught nothing of the boldness that comes with our faith, and from His Spirit. To stand one's ground, to not relent, to call things as they are, and to not negotiate, nor to compromise.
Jesus is the Word made flesh, it is living and active. The Word is sharper than any two edged sword, it pierces even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow. It judges the thoughts and the intentions of the heart (Hebrews 4:12).
The Gospel is offensive to those who are perishing (1 Corinthians 1:18) in the pride of their own wisdom. And they have made their choice.
Jesus warned especially of the days when the choice would divide families to an extreme (Luke 12:49-53 / Matthew 10:34–39). Days that started then and are climaxing now.
With the idea that Closure is a bringing to an end or a conclusion (and how prophetic is that in ways I would have never thought about until now?), we can best relate "Closure" to the process of grieving.
There are 5 stages in grieving, in which the last one is Acceptance (of a loss). The 5 stages are:
With Acceptance comes Closure (to some level dependent on the situation)
What does closure look like?
For many, dealing with family or friends who are lost, facing and enduring the sometimes brutal attacks both verbally and psychologically, come to the point where we acknowledge we have done all that we can, and the rest is up to God. We give these over to God, and we hope in God for the best outcome apart from our influence or interaction.
Closure can be extreme and a bit agrressive while still a form of defense too. Survivers of Narcissistic Parents for example may have to cut off communication and break all ties completely to get out from under the toxic situation. At the very least they need to set boundaries and enforce them against the intrusive and manipulative aggressor. You want to talk about Patient Endurance, this will test you! Often, the survivor, after coming to the realization of the truth of the relationship, finds that there was no relationship to begin with. They grieve for the parent that they never had, and it's just as much of a traumatic loss as any other loss.
Many know closure after the physical death of a loved one or beloved pet, and have been through the painful times of grieving.
Closure can come after the loss or betrayal of a friend, when you have assessed all the damage to feelings and deception and illusion of what you thought you had as a friendship.
With all these examples and more, you can't really move on in life until you have reached it to some extent.
And the Christian of today is getting it from all sides, we must cut ties with some, or you risk spinning your wheels and wasting opportunities to reach those who still need reaching. We can no longer (nor could we ever really) afford to waste the short time given us here.
The truth is painful sometimes, the truth is offensive, and the truth must be upheld. Our truth is Christ Jesus for He is the Truth, the Way, and the Life.
He is coming soon, and He is the ONLY "Closure" that we will ever know in this world.
Don't be a grape. 🚫 🍇
🦊 Jack [ The Foxman on the Wall ]
